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“Awww snap!”

I don’t know if people say that everywhere, but ‘round here it means “Awww yeah!”

I know it’s weird, but my favorite pastime has always been listening to straight-edge hardcore and drinking. I don’t even mean it in a “making fun” kind of way, it’s just really fun.

My number one choice, for a long time, has usually been "In My Eyes" by Minor Threat. I love the part when he says “At least I’m fuckin’ trying, what the fuck have you done?” Then I throw my can in the air and say, “I polished off this Bud!” Nothing beats those moments. It looks like there’s a new boss in town, though.

Righteous Jams had me won over since the day they came up with their name. Straight-edge hardcore, 10 songs taking up only 13 minutes, and top fucking quality music. Plus, they named their album Rage of Discipline. I would have stuck with a simple 'Rage,’ but than again, that would probably get them sued by Tom Morello or the dude with the tattoos. You know, it’s amazing that Rage Against the Machine was able to get away with making millions of dollars on a major label deal and not be branded as hypocrites.

So back to the straight-edge drinking. Track number 5, “No Glory,” goes like this: “Don’t talk to me about your cheap thrills / because I know mine are better / don’t talk to me about growing up / when you don’t even know the first letter / don’t brag to me about your fake fun / don’t tell me that you think for yourself / don’t tell me who is better off / because you just proved that you’re all talk.” Whoa, pass me the brews!

Even better, the sixth track, "Invasion," only has two lines, and you don’t even need to read between them! “Invasion used to be this band / but now we’re playing Righteous Jams!”

For a long time I’ve wanted to start a lyrically straight-edge band, but just get wasted at every show. Righteous Jams have solidified that dream.

I just got a little piece of my foot cut off at the hospital today and I have to stay off my feet for a while, so all I’m going to do for the next few days is listen to this album. When it’s healed, maybe I’ll go and get some more cut off so I have an excuse to do nothing else but listen to this longer.

[originally written for Europunk.net]



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    Posted by GlassPipeMurder on 2008-03-06 23:52:15
    My Score:

    finally got this beast off amazon. i asked the guys on myspace what the best way to buy was so they'd get paid (cuz i heard kung fu pays shit for royalties) but they never got back to me so fuck em. anyways, this shit is killer, everything that's right with hardcore and nothing that's wrong.

    Posted by righteoustonyxxx on 2006-11-10 11:35:42
    My Score:

    This is a good cd.

    and this reviewer doesnt give it justice, he is fucking stupid.

    buy this cd.

    Posted by xtomhallx on 2006-09-29 13:17:01

    ssssssssickest fucking band EVER

    Posted by standrew71 on 2006-05-27 22:39:50

    The review came across as the stream-of-consciousness musings of some high school couch potato. The album rocks: the guitar riffs are amazing, changes in tempo keep you on the edge of your seat. Would you expect RJ's lyrics to be anything else? They tell it like it is. This is who we are, and here's why. Pretty simple. Go buy the album. It's fantastic.

    Posted by etwiels88 on 2006-01-22 23:06:00
    My Score:

    Best review ever. Fucking great album.

    Posted by moneenerd on 2005-10-21 01:59:02

    i'm sorry but this is just a dumb shit review. it would help if it were funny or gave me an actual idea of whether or not i should check out this cd, but it was just a waste of 2 minutes of my life(3 if you include writing the comment)

    It took you a whole 120 seconds to read all of that?

    Posted by mikeinflames on 2005-09-27 23:16:15

    i used to love these guys
    but the more i listen to them the less i like them

    Posted by wehavecomeforyourchildren on 2005-09-26 23:02:08

    here's a picture of the kid who wrote this review.
    http://www.europunk.net/pictures/benskate2.jpg

    i think it will answer all your questions. (relating to the review and otherwise).

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, September 26, 2005 at 7:21 PM (EDT)

    i liked the review......iread it through and laughed

    Posted by inagreendase on 2005-09-26 15:07:57

    I can't believe Nitro released this!11111

    They should've stuck with quality bands like Lost City Angels.

    Alright, I kid.

    Kung Fu is handling the European release for this, if that's what you're referring to. Nitro has nothing to do with it.

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, September 26, 2005 at 11:09 AM (EDT)

    amazing, i actually feel dumber for having read a couple of these paragraphs. i think this might be the first free assoication review i've ever read, where the hell did the rage stuff come from? i'm honestly not sure that could have made less sense

    Posted by BrandonSideleau on 2005-09-26 04:01:49

    SxE is lame....but Minor Threat aren't SxE (don't know how many times we've been over this). Drinking is stupid and boring, but fuck man there's nothing WRONG with it. These "SxE" kids who beat drunks up are no better than the overzealous pigs at an LA show. Ian MacKaye is a great, intelligent guy who doesn't poison himself.....but he doesn't run around preaching some sort of religion.

    Posted by p-fresh on 2005-09-26 02:53:19
    My Score:

    Hahaha, this rules.

    Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-09-26 01:58:51

    awww snap does not mean awww yeah you faggot

    - jones the bones

    - stevejones8770@yahoo.com

    Posted by rkl on 2005-09-25 18:38:03

    i dont think he was trying to stick it to sxe-ers at all...
    in hs, i used to get out of school, hop in my friends truck, stick steady diet of nothing into the tape deck, and light a j...
    it was never "HAHAHAHAHA IM STICKING IT TO EDGERS"(the punk scene in this town at the time was very small/nonexistent). i just enjoyed the music.

    but looking back in retrospect, it is slightly amusing.

    Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-09-25 18:03:53

    i edited this review. its good now:

    “Awww snap!”

    Righteous Jams had me won over since the day they came up with their name. Straight-edge hardcore, 10 songs taking up only 13 minutes, and top fucking quality music.

    - jones the bones

    - stevejones8770@yahoo.com

    - l like this bands name too

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 4:29 PM (EDT)

    I can't believe Nitro released this!11111

    They should've stuck with quality bands like Lost City Angels.

    Alright, I kid.

    Posted by colton on 2005-09-25 16:25:23

    This is a good cd but the reviewer is a fucking dumb shit.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 3:40 PM (EDT)

    this is actually the first time in the history of the universe that someone has thought of drinking WHILE LISTENING TO A STRAIGHT EDGE BAND. i'm impressed, this guy's gonna go places with material like that.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 3:38 PM (EDT)

    aren't these guys on the New Found Glory owned record label. hmmm

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 3:22 PM (EDT)

    drinking and listening to sXe hardcore IS pretty sweet, but righteous jams sucks sooooooo hard.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 3:07 PM (EDT)

    Probably one of the worst reviews ever written on the site, but it's hilarious and i think he pretty much gave it the score it deserves. good shit.

    -phdecontrol

    Posted by bizzlebrizzle on 2005-09-25 13:14:49

    This is definitely worth a 10, even if this review is so horrible that it's hilarious.

    Posted by Dante3000 on 2005-09-25 12:43:32

    So...It's hardcore? And you drink...And like to have pieces of your foot removed eh? Not a whole lot you're tellin me about this band. Still, they sound interesting. Course I should watch my tounge now that my shit writting is up for laughs.
    -Dante

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 12:35 PM (EDT)

    this is a modern version of the cro mags- with mid tempo parts instead of the really heavy cromags styled parts. tight band

    bust it

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 11:55 AM (EDT)

    Sweet, this was my #1 cd of last year, and my favorite show this year. So great band, they're really fun, i mean, joey c is lika comedian or something, LOOSDEUCKINNUMBAHIDOUANNAHANGOuuU!!!

    -melvyl.

    Posted by johnnydanger on 2005-09-25 10:56:40

    wow, this review is so terrible that its funny

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 10:44 AM (EDT)

    its 'don't try to glorify your cheap thrills' isnt it?

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 6:37 AM (EDT)

    HIlarious review. Intentional?

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 2:13 AM (EDT)

    Meh. Bostoncore is overdone.

    -Will

    Posted by Narm on 2005-09-25 02:01:02

    How many straight edge kids does it take to finish a six pack?

    One, when nobody is looking.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 1:45 AM (EDT)

    i'm sorry but this is just a dumb shit review. it would help if it were funny or gave me an actual idea of whether or not i should check out this cd, but it was just a waste of 2 minutes of my life(3 if you include writing the comment)

    Posted by gladimnotemo on 2005-09-25 01:12:46

    Hm, the songs on their site are pretty good. Certainly not as bad as most straight edge hardcore these days.

    Posted by wehavecomeforyourchildren on 2005-09-25 01:03:17

    i don't think the reviewer was trying to "stick it to the straight edger."

    but i do think this review is pretty kickass. that's alot considering i don't share the reviewer's enthusiasm for drinking and i don't think this album is even that great. now i feel like i gotta give it a second chance though.

    Posted by gladimnotemo on 2005-09-25 00:50:42
    My Score:

    5 stars? This review makes me never want to listen to this, although I've heard some good things.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 12:48 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    I'm not straight edge but this review is complete shit. You don't have to agree with them but you also don't have to share the dumbass way that you try to stick it to the straight edgers. Your friends probably think you're really cool.

    Posted by etwiels88 on 2005-09-25 00:40:14
    My Score:

    "I will snap off yo neck, wit a crackle n pop"
    "Ohhh, I like the Rice Krispies thing you got going on there!"

    Score's For Curb Your Enthusiasm and Righteous Jams.

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