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When I say I’m unimpressed, you best believe I’m unimpressed, U-N-I-M…aww, fuck it.

What I’ve got here is the second album, Teen Bop Dream, by Portland glam-punks the Soda Pop Kids. While it is by no means a terrible record, it also isn’t, say, a very good record, or an original record, or a truly engaging record. At its core, Teen Bop Dream is just straight-up New York Dolls worship, delivered in an overproduced, tarted-up package.

Right from the get-go, the album leaves a Splenda-sweet taste in your mouth -- not to mention an odd-smelling, sticky residue on your hands. Opener “Saturday Every Day” begins with a group of children chanting the song’s title, evoking the unavoidable Bay City Rollers hit, “Saturday Night.” Of course, no punk band has ever referenced that song before. After this little intro, the song segues into bluesy glam rock of the Dolls variety, complete with rock’n’roll piano, mediocre solos, and Johansen-y off-key vocals. Not a great song. The second track, however, picks up in both tempo and quality. “Fell in Love at the Arcade” is a fast, fun pop song that’s more in line with the band that perfected the late-`70s power-pop revival style, fellow Oregonians the Exploding Hearts. This song also proves the central truth of Teen Bop Dream: the faster the tempo, the better the song.

The album basically continues on as a pastiche of various pre-punk pop and rock’n’roll styles: doo-wop, country, and `50s pop, among others. There’s even a tearful ballad, “Another Cigarette Ends,” which, as predicted by the central truth of the album, falls flat on its face. The slow songs, which really require some depth of emotion and songwriting, uniformly fail -- they’re just not catchy enough for this band and this style.

I know I’m painting a pretty negative picture, and the fact is, the negatives are far more noticeable than the positives of this album. While many of the songs are fairly enjoyable, there’s always some element within them that doesn’t work. Whether it’s the irritating keyboard line in “Too Pretty,” the saxophone line in the otherwise wonderful “Bloodshot Eyes” that sounds like a dog farting, or the general tendency of the band to continue a song after it’s clearly ended, there’s always something to take issue with.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible not to compare the Soda Pop Kids to the bands that influenced them, and when you’re comparing any band to the likes of the New York Dolls and the Exploding Hearts, they’re bound to come up short. Coupled with the nagging flaws present in every song, it’s hard to really peg Teen Bop Dream as anything other than the low end of mediocre. In the end, the Soda Pop Kids just need a little less “Throwaway Style,” and a lot more substance.






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    Posted by Johnnyz77 on 2007-11-14 15:42:12

    there is a much better band out there with a name that is SODA POP FUCK YOU. instead of buying this band's cd, buy something buy Soda Pop Fuck You. They rock!

    Posted by ashtraymonument on 2007-11-14 11:22:33

    yeah, the denver post mentioned em once or twice.
    glad we go rid of that "trash"

    Posted by ibitchslappedyourmama on 2007-11-14 10:30:20

    oops, or was that Kill City Thrillers?
    its been a while

    Posted by ibitchslappedyourmama on 2007-11-14 03:05:55

    I remember when they were called Thrill City Killers and lived in denver. They used to put on a fun live show. Haven't heard much from them since they moved.

    Posted by feeeding5000 on 2007-11-14 00:12:58

    Musicloverfan - I'm from DC. The only band I am allowed to dance to is Washington Social Club. Every other band requires standing completely still, maybe with some light head-nodding. Occasionally I am allowed to scream.

    That's it. No dancing, otherwise. So I do not appreciate "danceable" bands.

    Posted by musicloverfan on 2007-11-13 23:57:05

    after reading the comments! i disagree i love the band name! and hey isnt the singer from the riffs! the bass player in this band! i think they are worthy!

    Posted by musicloverfan on 2007-11-13 23:55:12
    My Score:

    To be honest i havent heard an album like this in years! i like the simplicity of it. You can dance your ass off to it! Which is what is lacking here in portland. BANDS you can DANCE to! No more i'm indie standing around and being too cool! YEAH for the soda pop kids! i will be buying this record when is it out? anyone?

    Posted by KlashedKi on 2007-11-13 22:48:41

    Are there any bands that take from the New York Dolls style of Rock n' Roll that have ever been good?

    Posted by ZombieCrush on 2007-11-13 19:57:17

    it's actually pretty funny that you say no punk rock band has ever referenced the bay city rollers as the ramones inspiration for blitzkrieg bop was that very song....also nick lowe (producer of the damned and most early stiff records) wrote a song about going to a bay city rollers show.....

    Are you retarded?

    Well, at least we can all agree that The Bouncing Souls never pulled any inspiration from that song.

    Posted by NotPatriotic on 2007-11-13 19:20:04

    "probably the worst band name ever"
    I respectfully disagree.
    What about:
    Every Time I die
    From Autumn to Ashes
    Panic! at the disco
    Any band that includes a day of the week in its name

    The review is good, especially the Throwaway Style line to conclude. The band is not good.

    Posted by john_stone on 2007-11-13 18:24:13

    I think you may mean "sarcasm".

    Posted by feeeding5000 on 2007-11-13 14:57:09

    toopunk:
    There is a device I used called "irony" - you should look into it.

    Posted by ashtraymonument on 2007-11-13 13:56:32

    probably the worst band name ever

    Posted by toopunk4you on 2007-11-13 13:35:23

    it's actually pretty funny that you say no punk rock band has ever referenced the bay city rollers as the ramones inspiration for blitzkrieg bop was that very song....also nick lowe (producer of the damned and most early stiff records) wrote a song about going to a bay city rollers show.....

    Posted by Cos on 2007-11-13 03:14:03

    Johnny Thunders worshiping needs to stop. I like his music, but I've never heard a band that was compared to one of his bands that I've ever liked.

    Good god, that sentence was horrible...

    Posted by TheOneTrueBill on 2007-11-13 01:01:05

    Shitty glam punk on Full Breach? STOP THE PRESSES?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    Posted by JonDaley on 2007-11-13 00:38:37

    when I say I'm in luv, you best believe I'm in love L-U-V