I'm sure that I have no credibility left whatsoever, so I'm just gonna go ahead and review the new Plain White T's album. You're probably thinking, "What's next, Hannah Montana?" and I'd be lying if I said that I would never go that far.

I'm a slave to pop music -- there, I said it. In the case of the Plain White T's, what used to be cutesy pop-punk has now lost any hint of punk, and replaced it with acoustics in some songs and dance beats in others. Believe it or not, 2008's Big Bad World is actually their fifth full length since forming in 1997. That's pretty legit, considering 75% of their fans didn't even know they existed until the 2006 single "Hey There Delilah." Based on the popularity and constant airplay that song received, it's obvious that the group followed suit with "1, 2, 3, 4." It's slow, it's extremely cute, and it seems that they've taken a lesson or two on what to say to make 14-year-old girls swoon. Masters of the cute card, there's no denying that they know how to make your heart melt...

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad / best that I've had / I'm so glad i found you / I love being around you, you make it easy / It's easy as 1, 2, 1 2 3 4... There's only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words 4 you... I love you

Barf! When I said I was a slave to pop music, that's not exactly what I had in mind.

Forget about the lyrics and the constant "oooh"s, "doo doo doo"s and "la la la"s for a second, though, and the album isn't all bad. Adopting a slightly more mature sound mimicking that of the Early November (particularly 'Mother' from The Mother, The Mechanic and the Path) incorporating horns, violin and harmonica, the Plain White boys have the verses down to a "T," but they can never seem to hold it together in the chorus. In "Meet Me in California" or "Natural Disaster," for example, both start off sounding like good, upbeat, unique pop songs, but as soon as they cross that bridge they fall apart into cheesy doughy lame poop. And then there's "Sunrise," which loosely sounds like Pink Floyd meets the Beatles meets the Backstreet Boys. Interesting, to say the least.

Fun fact: Most of these songs are about sex!