Wanna be in a Rock Band?

We recently had this submitted to us:
"ASM MEDIA GROUP (ASM) a new Los Angeles entertainment firm is currently developing a musical rock group that will dynamically change the outlook of Rock. Our purpose is to audition, prepare, produce, support, and guide this group's musical endeavor. This group will return style and grace to the rock industry and highlight the creative and charismatic talents and attitudes of today's music artists."
You can read the rest of the letter below. If you can't figure it out from that paragraph, this company is basically trying to start a boy band, but one that plays instruments. This is just shameful. The rest of their "press release" or whatever is so laughable, I encourage you to read it below to see how this company plans to make their band the "next big thing." Kids, don't buy into this crap. Start your own band. Go pick up a shitty guitar at a garage sale and buy an old drumset from your friend's older brother. Write your own songs. This is just pathetic.

This group will be comprised of six auditioned male members between the ages of 16-23 years. Members will be auditioned based upon their look, talent, past experience in music, attitude, and willingness to contribute to this group. The group will consist of one drummer, one bassist , two guitarists, one keyboardists and one vocalist. All members must have strong vocals and stage presence, proficient melody and lyrical ability, consistent driving players, have a vast knowledge in music theory, and overall be willing to contribute over 110% of their time and energy to this group.

As far as image and attitude, we are looking for good looking individuals with a young fresh cutting edge look. Attitudes must portray elements of caring, charisma, determination, and cooperation. ASM stands for the highest standards in moral and personal practices. We will not tolerate any drug and alcohol abuse, habitual sexual practices, or negative, unproductive, and dangerous behavior.

The sound of this group will bring together elements of modern and legendary rock. This group will infuse big vocals, with a diverse/fresh/clean/ cutting edge rock sound, similar to that of Aerosmith, Foo Fighters, Ben Fold’s Five, U2, American Hi-Fi, Goo Goo Dolls, Journey and Bon Jovi.

All members will be auditioned and secured by mid-June, and should be willing to relocate to Los Angeles (LA) for final auditions and extensive practicing, writing, and performing. Auditions will be conducted through the World Wide Web, via ASM’s website and through our affiliates. Additional interests will be secured by word-of-mouth by contacting current musical members of this industry.

In order to apply, one must submit: 1) a clear CD with a current performance containing original music, 2) a resume detailing past experience with the music industry and personal background information, 3) clean and clear color and black/white pictures showing facial and body features, and 4) a 3-minute VHS stating why this group would interest you and an example of your performance.

All financial considerations will be covered by ASM, and our current six month plan is set out as follows:

In July, all equipment will be purchased for the use of the members during the following months. Immediately following a retreat in the preceding weeks in June, the group will withdraw to a location in LA to write, practice and collaborate on the group’s music. During this one-month period, members will be required to actively contribute between 8-10 hours a day. During this time period various producers, A&R representatives, among many others will be invited to monitor and see the group first hand.

In August, the group will record their EP. Current studio considerations consist of The Blasting Room, The Hit Factory, Media Vortex, and Scream Studios. Current proposed producers are: David Leonard [tentitively confirmed] (Sugar Ray, Prince, Barenaked Ladies); Greg Collins (No Doubt, Red Hot Chili Peppers, System of a Down), and Nick Launay (Semisonic, Silverchair, Eric Clapton). The group’s first official photo shoot will also occur in order to prep and prepare for all PR and publicity material.

In September, the group will prepare and practice for their first US tour. This will also be time to prepare, practice and visit family and friends before the non-stop three month touring trek. This is a time when ASM will push this group’s very diverse marketing plan, and when our team of affiliates will begin working to promote and push this group. Our main focus is to secure interest through shopping the EP various record labels, booking agencies, promoters, and other industry affiliates.

During the months of October - December, the group will trek out for their first US/Canadian tour. The group will play venues ranging between 500-1000 capacities, with an average of 60+ shows.

Overall, it is ASM’s purpose to develop a rock group that exemplifies what music and rock and roll is. More information concerning the exact timelines and deadlines, marketing plans, and budgetary considerations will be available via ASM’s website.

http://www.asmediagroup.com/group.html