Attention: How to Look Cool in Crowded Areas

"Off in the distance you hear the beat to 50 Cent's "Wanksta" and just before that tune wraps up "Shake your Tail Featha" fills the air waves. What are these horrendous noises and where are they coming from? Oh, they're popping out of that guy's cell phone. And you think, "Damn, I wish I could have "All My Best Friends Are Metalheads" ringtone by Less Than Jake to show all these pop-culture whores what music good music really is.

Fear no more Punker! If you head on over to Digital Designs Network I've been cropping up a few MIDI files with a little Punk Rock flavor that you can download to your phone. There's not the greatest selection on earth right now, but it should hold you over and it sure beats "Jingle Bells"."