Interviews: Nubs

Angie Lalonde writes "So who's this infamous Nubs NOFX raves about? Well she's a real person and she has a name; Talli and this girl is about as punk rock as they come! This exclusive interview took place at Warped Tour in Barrie after she kindly accepted without a fight. An interview that will go down in my history books as one of my most memorable I've done to date with anyone, it's obvious she rocks leaving it quickly evident to reason why Fat Mike chose this far-away Toronto, Canadian native to be the topic of his next serenade."
This is definitely one for the books. Read on.
Update: Thanks to Melanie Kaye of Fat, we have a picture to accompany the interview. - Aubin

ANGIE: So when did you go to your first punk show?
TALLI: I don’t know when it was but I think it was Blink 182 and The Vandals
A: How old were you.
T: I’d say I was around 15.
A: How long have you been a NOFX fan?
T: Since then!!! (laughing)
A: When was the first time you met Fat Mike?
T: Last March, maybe even after.
A: And what was that night like?
T: Oh my god the best night of my life! I was freaking out he was like ‘hi’ and I was like ‘hiiii Fat Mike!’
A: When the record first came out some people took offence to the song saying they’d crossed the line with this one but really you do love the song and who wouldn’t want to be Fat Mike’s personal nubs!
T: Oh my god no I don’t care! I love it, I don’t even care what he says just as long as he writes about me. I mean that’s the way NOFX writes, you know what I mean, that’s the way Fat Mike writes he’s not going to write a boring story, he has to take something that he’s not sure about and make it crazy, funny and fucked up and that’s what he did. Some people who listen to the song are like I don’t know if I like it, I’m like you don’t know NOFX then.
A: In the song Fat Mike mentions he asked you to go drink after and hang out and all you said was no, no, no, is that true!!!
T: That’s sooo not true! As if! Everyone says that to me they’re like you said no to going out with him to the bar, do you think I’d really said no! And in the song he says too I got carried around in my friend’s backpack, that’s not true either.
A: Have you been recognized by people since the record came out?
T: Yes, it’s weird too cause it doesn’t even say my name or anything and it doesn’t really describe me for real because I don’t even look like the way he describes me in the song but a couple of concerts I’ve been too since I’ll be leaving and some guy will yell out "She’s Nubs!" oh and I saw this guy on Queen Street who I’ve seen before, really cool guy, he came up to me and asked "so what do you think of the song?" It was so weird then this other guy yelled out ‘Nubs!’. They don’t even ask either they’re just like hey is that song about you? They just know.
A: After meeting you now I know Fat Mike didn’t give you full justice in the song.
T: That’s why I told you before just so you know I’m not the way he describes me in the song, you’d picture someone with just a head and a torso, I work and have my own apartment.
A: So did you see Fat Mike yet?
T: No.
A: He’s looking for you.
T: Where is he!?
A: I don’t know now I saw him watching Rise Against play but he said to say hey! This question is courtesy of my boss, if Fat Mike ever proposed would you say yes?
T: Done & DONE!
A: And would you french kiss him or would you have to be drunk?
T: I would french kiss him, I would suck his cock, I would do anything!
A: Oh man I can’t believe you just said that which brings me to my last questions that Brett requested personally, you do give great head don’t you!
T: Okay I emailed Fat Mike and I said to him how dare you tell the world that it’s something hard for me when it’s my specialty and if I have to come down there to show all four of you how good I am then I will just don’t tell the world it’s something hard for me when I’m amazing at it! He wrote me back and he was like I knew you’d be good at giving blowjobs but the line was too funny not to use. So tell Brett if he wants to know I’ll come over and show him, umm maybe I don’t know I’d want to see a picture first, you tell him to think about if you don’t use your hands how well you use your mouth (laughing).
A: Thanks Talli!