Darlington

Louder Than Morrissey (2002)

BandAidEmily

My first impression: "Hi, we're Darlington. We sound worse than every over-the-top-pop punk, wannabe-hardcore band that you can possibly fathom."

After only listening thirty seconds into the first track, "Disneyland", I decided that I would have to make a conscious effort to give Darlington a fair chance at a decent review. But honestly, listening to this CD all the way through was almost as entertaining as having my wisdom teeth pulled without the benefit of anesthetic.

To begin with, the lyrics of this record can be easily compared to a bad junior high flashback. With song titles such as, "Boobs Boobs Boobs", "Dorkin' Around", "Joe Queer Sucks", not to mention the handful of tracks named after girls; one would have to ask themselves, "how old are these guys, anyway?" The guitars are less than average, and the singing is unbearably nasal/off key; but if I had to choose a favorite track it would be number nineteen. It's a full radio interview with Christy and Stevie of Darlington. In it, Christy admits to, "only writing about girls", "secretly wanting to be in the Backstreet Boys", and having "recently bought a Spice Girls' CD". It's absolutely fascinating.

Frankly, I don't enjoy giving bad reviews. I try to stay away from putting a band down, but in this case it was inevitable. You'd either hear it from me, or you'd hear it from some other poor soul that has this record. I'm only thankful that I didn't have to pay for it. I'm even more thankful that I'll never have to listen to it again.

In closing: This band does not deserve to have the name "Morrissey" in its CD's title. Morrissey is amazing, and this record is terrible.