The Awkward Romance

Covington (2004)

Jesse Raub

The following is the first paragraph of this band's press sheet (with corrections made by me in parenthesis).

By standard definitions (by our own word bending), The Awkward Romance's music is too energetic to be emo (really, they're flat out lying here - it's really boring stuff), too deep to be pop-punk (oh lordy), too catchy not to be pop (because that's all it is - pop), and has too obvious of a mass appeal to be indie rock (that's for damn sure - all the NFG fans would eat this steaming pile o' shat right up). So, instead of choosing a genre, the set out simply to write the best songs they can, regardless of genre (don't use the word "genre" twice in a sentence, it's rule #3 in basic writing). The result is powerful (nope), high-energy (noperino) songs with honest lyrics (now they're lying about honesty), clever guitar work (yeah, clever like how Blink 182's four chord pattern was revolutionary, or how their riff for "Damnit" was mind-blowingly technical) and impassioned melodies (using the word "impassioned" doesn't make you smart). Although it has been said (by who?) that they "Artfully bring together the clever songcrafting of indie rock, the melodic sensibilities of pop-rock, the energy of pop-punk, and the passion of screamo", (okay, seriously, that was the worst way to describe a band. Ever.) they would much rather avoid labels altogether, and instead have people focus soley (on how bad they suck) on the music and take it for what it is (bland, un-inspired pop-punk).

Any band with the words "awkward" or "romance" in their name is just begging to be a shitty pop/punk/indie/emo/screamo band.

It really is boring. And bland. And boring. BORING. boringboringboringboringboringboringboringboring boringboringboringboring boringboring boring boring boringboringboringboringboringboringboring

Time to get a new band.