Various

Il Promgramma Di Religione (2005)

Jesse Raub

I freely admit: This is some weird shit. There are 265 2-10 second songs, each one a tribute to each one of the Popes from 32 A.D. -- 2004 A.D. The album is an hour long, and the 265 songs are split into 67 tracks. I gotta tell you, it's a lot of noise. It's mostly electronic music. Some samples, some killer bass lines. Some Nintendo-worthy keyboard. Some screaming. Some ambient noise. And it's all switching at least every 10 seconds. To be honest, it seems like the blueprint to an audio collage album. Like maybe the guy just missed the final stage of mixing. Yeah, that must be it. This is one huge audio collage album! Oh wait, each of the 256 songs is performed by a different artist. From all over the world. Dear God, this is the craziest thing I've ever listened to. Oh Jesus. Now there's a rock song as a commercial for "Pope-perri." After it there was a Pope rap. My brain is fried and I'm only 9 tracks in. But I just hit a B-Side from the soundtrack to Earthbound, which has the best soundtrack of any game ever. Oh, here's some white noise. Spooky, echoing children voices.

Please forgive me. I might have to review this album without listening to it all. I already feel schizophrenic from listening to it. I highly suggest not using headphones if you plan to undertake it.

But what really matters here? Is it the actual music? Or is it the idea? I mean, nobody here is taking it seriously. I don't think there's a devout Catholic amongst the entire group. But damn, putting out something like this is ballsy. I'm talking like melon sized (not to be sexist, ladies, you have balls too -- they're called ovaries). Who's going to buy this? I know I wouldn't. But is that going to stop my from giving this album a high score? Hell no! The cheek alone deserves a 7! And the Earthbound-esque track bumps it to an 8. What do you know? There's a pull-out poster documenting each track and who does what song for each Pope! That's 9 worthy! So hate me if you must, hate this if you must, but lemme tell you -- it fully deserves the nine it gets.