BEDlight For BlueEYES

The Dawn (2005)

Meg Reinecker

Ever lay awake at night wondering what a band would sound like with an autistic Daryl Palumbo on vocals and every radio rock band ever to accompany him on instrumentals? Alas, one day, this dream project came to life, in the form of my favourite band with caps lock issues, BEDlight For BlueEYES.

Quite frankly, The Dawn is by far the year's most excruciatingly terrible release. Upon looking at the cover and spotting Brooke Shields in the sky with a cloud-reflecting mirror, the impression you'll get will be accurate to a 'T.' This album is cheesy, lacks all cohesive qualities, and has absolutely no direction whatsoever, except in bearing similarites to radio rock bands in the likes of Story Of The Year, 30 Seconds To Mars, and the Darkness.

The Dawn's first three songs are an embarrassing conglomerate of awful lyrics (see: "One stab to the center of your heart / one cut is all you ever need") and even more horrendous of vocals. The album's fourth track, "Leaving Berkley Heights," even offers a hint of screaming. And to think, the album was doing so well straying far from being cliché…

The epitome of all things horrific and untolerable lies in the track "Dig On This." Not only does it boast repeated "na na na na's," it also provides the listener with a special treat of some gang vocals. And just when the song can't be any worse, random Spanish lyrics appear out of nowhere, Dora The Explorer style. Swiper, please swipe.

BEDlight For BlueEYES may have impressed a plethora of its listeners with their "DIY attitudes" and home at Trustkill, but The Dawn makes me question the hearing ability of these avid fans. Not even an all-Spanish version of this album (which is in the works; seriously) can save BEDlight For BlueEYES, though that would at least save the listener from their mindless lyrics.