Various

Abacus: Listen Or Pose (2005)

Jesse Raub

Oh goody! A compilation. Well, we all know how much I love these! Let's get at it!

Well now, this band plays metal, and so does that band! Ooh, that one's a metalcore band. There's some math-metal. Uh-oh, that one sounds like nü-metal. They better be careful. Hey, that one's not terrible. Swarm Of The Lotus. Sounds kind of inventive. I mean, not like Reign In Blood coming out in 1986, but you know, still pretty good for an overplayed genre. Ion Dissonance is sort of crazy stuff that's worth a listen. This Swarm of the Lotus is pretty good actually. Eh, Embrace The End isn't my type of stuff, and I hope that cookie-cutter metalcore isn't your bag either.

DEVILINSIDE is just as crappy as before. I could see this played on a more "edgy" modern rock radio station. Blech. Next. Maroon. Well, next to Turmoil it sounds like an audio oasis. Bleeding Kansas is probably the closest thing to hardcore on this album, though everything is basically just metal. Wow. After I pressed the pause button, it all went away, and I forgot every single little bit of it.

Well, now that I think about it, Swarm Of The Lotus was the only band worth a damn on this thing, and they weren't mind-blowing or anything. Just pleasant metal with enough time-signature changes to keep it interesting.

Wait, what was I just listening to? Oh yeah, the Abacus compilation. I had completely forgot. I mean, the fan on my laptop is whirring pretty loudly and I had just gotten a little bit too wrapped up in the noise it's making after I stopped that assload of shit from playing in my iTunes. Hmm. I wonder if we have any of those enchiladas left? Ooh, can't forget -- I start work on Thursday. I should probably write a note so I remember to set my alarm. Wait, what was I doing here? Oh right, check my e-mail. Hmmm…nothing but porn invites. Seems like I'm forgetting something…something I was supposed to do while I was at the computer…oh yeah! Review that Abacus compilation! I wonder what it's going to be like. Probably metal. I'll just slip that into my CD slot and…oh, hunh. Look at that, it's already in my computer. 'll just press play here, then open my browser and start this review…