Von Spar

Von Spar (2007)

DangerHazzard

A two-song album is always suspicious, especially when crafted by dance-punk prankster Germans. When a track is more than 10 minutes long, one of two things is usually going on: a lot of meandering noise (carefully sculpted, arranged, endowed, etc.) or multiple songs hidden in one track. Von Spar is doing mostly the first, with a few cockteasing moments of the second.

Two songs, and only the rear quarter of "Xaxapoya" reminds me of the old Von Spar, when a good bassline would erupt as an effort to overthrow the dance club. As far as the rest, the high vocal squawk has been fired and replaced with a mis-plugged guitar, it seems. They added a member for this?

Ultimately, I'm mad because they dropped the groove. Is there some virus that bands with actual use of the bass guitar contract? Does it crawl into their arteries, installing fatty deposits like drywall, somehow slowing down all the gyroscopic tendencies of a virile heart once in love with a breathless night of sweat-stung eyes and flattering conversation over 25 toddler-sized speakers? Because between Von Spar and the Liars, it's like everyone starts with instruments and then decides that instrumentation is too "populist" or something and have to get all heady about cascading noise-falls.

I'm tired of it, and while I really was excited to pick up the first domestically available Von Spar record, I wish I had saved my money for something a little more discernible. Like importing the Die uneingeschränkte Freiheit der privaten Initiative LP. If you enjoy Drum's Not Dead, which you should because you were told to, then your friends will shit the Great Wall of China when you force them to endure this slow-mo borefest.