Good Charlotte

Greatest Remixes (2008)

mikexdude

Good Charlotte needs to take advice from a certain Gainesville furniture martial artist: They need to "stop, take some time to think" and "figure out what's important" to them.

Let me elaborate…

Implied in my All Time Low review, I am indignant towards local artists who reach fame and then abuse it (not to mention having those same bands jammed into my brain by the misguided adoration of everyone and their mother in Maryland). But I'll admit that when I heard "The Young and the Hopeless" in fifth grade, I dug it, but at that age I was also under the impression that cooties were going to be the next Black Death. Nothing could save their music for me nowadays; not their cool hair cuts, not the addition of synthesizers, not the incredible speed of Synyster Gate's guitar wankary, not even a cameo in a Rancid music video. With all of those futile attempts, I'm sure you could imagine my bewilderment as to why Good Charlotte really thought that a remix album was a good idea. I couldn't be the only one who has heard those Haunted Cities remixes, right?

To start off, Greatest Remixes pulls together an "all-star" collection of guests ranging from the likes of Bubba Sparxxx, Patrick Stump (Fall Out Boy), Mat Devine (Kill Hannah), the Academy Is… and Metro Station, to name a few. Each contributes their own unique input on the band's greatest hits, but if you couldn't stand their songs before, I'm sure the addition of the Metro Station covering it isn't going to sway you in any way at all. To be quite honest, the whining choruses of "I Don't Wanna Be in Love" make me cringe.

That cover aside, the remixes are basically the removal of guitars and acoustic drums and replaced with predictable synthesizers and drum machines. "All Black," done by Mat Devine, only stands to prove that Joel Madden's voice is incredibly obnoxious -- why Divine decided to electronically stutter his vocals is beyond me. Million $ Mano's stab at the ‘classic' "The Anthem" is thankfully almost completely void of a Madden twin, with the exception of the sampled line "this is the anthem, throw all your hands up." The two previously unreleased tracks, "Anxiety" and "Fight Song" aren't necessarily what I'd think are acceptable cuts to hold over fans until their next album. "Anxiety"'s dance beat is almost too similar to that "River" song, and the latter track, albeit featuring one of the better mainstream rappers in the Game, has enough n-words and cliché anti-Bush rhetoric to make a Kanye West question his patriotism.

Good Charlotte, there aren't many nails in your coffin left to drive, and I advise that you cease the scams and release a rock ‘n' roll masterpiece. If being a musician is really "important" to you, you might want to consider "stopping" what you're doing.