Yours for Mine

Dear Children (2009)

Joe Pelone

Yours for Mine wrote a Christian hardcore record I don't like called Dear Children. There, I just saved you a lot of time. Now you already know if I'm biased against the genre because of how it sounds (I am) or the way it works God into every song (eh). You know exactly what to expect from the songs -- breakdowns (yes), chugging guitars (yeah), lyrics that wouldn't be totally out of place in the Book of Revelations (although it does need more multi-headed dragons. Just sayin'). Heck, you probably half-expect a special section in the album art dedicated to God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost (Jesus is 33.3 percent responsible for this band's existence).

Dear Children isn't a bad album…but it is kind of boring. Ten songs, 41 minutes, whoopty-doo. While the record shows signs of musical depth -- electronic flourishes on tracks like "We Need You Here" and "Call Me Distant," a surprisingly jazzy outro for the screamo-tastic "Absence in Elegance" -- the album ultimately falls into a rut. At its best, it sounds like second-rate Further Seems Forever. At its worst, well, it features ">Cookie Monster vocals.

And here's the thing, I don't just find the record unappealing because of the Christian element. I loves me some "With You by My Side" something fierce. These songs could be about girls, or boys, or Eli Whitney's quest to invent the cotton gin. The album could feature covers of my personal top 10 Jawbreaker songs. Hell, it could tell me the day I'm going to die and I'd still feel slightly underwhelmed. The members throw in little flourishes to let the listener know that they know how to play; it's a shame they're wasting the talents their Lord and Savior Jesus F. Christ* trying to fit into this stale genre.

*The "F." stands for "fucking," kids!