It's 3 am. A late Sunday night in Gainesville, FL.

We were all at the D4 show earlier tonight, but made our way here for the after party at the junkyard. (aka Keith's house).

This night will live in my memories for the rest of my life.

Why? Not for any reason that anyone would find special other than the 200 people that managed to go the distance and stay up this late to see an old No Idea band play a few songs.

I play guitar and sing in the band Gunmoll, and tonight for the first time in 4 years we're going to play a quick set.

Just to give a quick history, I left Gainesville about 5 years ago. Not for any good reason other than I felt I needed to run away from the life I had made.

I had to run away from this life before I ended it. I was truly that lost.

When I did, the band I loved fell apart. It was all I had lived for over the few years prior.

It's been too long now and I don't know what to say when someone asks about it. I was broke, penniless, heartbroken, and although surrounded by friends… felt alone every minute of everyday. Fucked up depressed!

When people would ask, "why did you leave?" I used to say, "Have you ever read the lyrics to the songs I used to write?" I wanted the life I had to end. So one day I just got my shit and left.

Though I tried, I could never put the pieces back together. Fest 3 was a nightmare and every other time we tried to play or record, something got fucked up. Star crossed.

But on this night, with not one lick of practice, Jon, Derron, and I would step up to play a few songs for the crowd still lingering. I'm pretty sure everyone was just wasted enough to not give a shit how bad it really was.

But for 15 minutes on this night, we couldn't have cared less!

There has been an unsettled animosity between us over the years. In conversations we say it's all good, but there's a lot that has never been fixed. It's easy to see we're uncomfortable in each others' presence. But as with every show we ever played, as soon as the first note hits, all issues are lost without a care. We have a chemistry together that can't be denied. Derron looks up at me, eyes squinted as if the fright train he imitates is riding at his own heels. That bass is like thunder rolling, and at Jon's command it goes.

This is where I still find peace. I just haven't had it in years.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life and where I am in it!!!

I love my band In The Red and wouldn't trade it for the world. I consider myself quite lucky to have had two bands I have felt so passionately about.

I guess I have a weak heart. Some people can walk away from past relationships and never look back. I'm not that guy.

I want things to be right so I can get a good night sleep. For me, my ex wife, old friends, some of my family, and with Gunmoll.

Whether or not… we'll never know.

But I invite you all to check it out.

It's a fucking wreck! But goddamnit what a good night. I can't wait to see what happens next time.