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Here's your question and answer of the week from the Punknews Formspring:

Q: Favourite pizza toppings?

A: I am the worst person on earth for this questions. I absolutely love pizza. You know that crazy devotion to pizza that little kids have (where they say they could eat it every day and inevitably find that they do eat it every meal for some short period in their lives and have massive digestive problems because of it)? That's me at 30.

I fucking LOVE pizza. Thick crust, thin crust, deep dish, Chicago style (FUCK YEAH Chicago Style). I even love the calzone, that inverted bastard son of pizza. There's so few toppings I don't enjoy on a pizza I can literally not think of any (I've had anchovies and in certain settings, they fucking work!).

When I was 8 years old a friend had pizza and ice cream at his birthday party and I put ice cream ON the pizza and ate it. Why? Because the fucking Ninja Turtles would have done it and at eight years old they were my infallible deities. Of course, not being privy to the effects of mutagen I totally vomited it all up later but even with that knowledge, I would totally do it right now, today! Because Pizza!

I once didn't have pizza for an entire month. Then I had an insane craving for pizza and spent 40 minutes stewing over the menu trying to figure out what pizza to get. I had choice overload and everything sounded good. In the end, do you know what I got? Pepperoni. That's it. Because it may be the most perfect, unfuckwithable pizza topping ever (I also got wings because the lady was all, "You want wings with that?" And my brain was completely destroyed from 40 minutes of pizza debates and went, "What? What the fuck are wings? Just say yes! I don't fucking know anymore!")

In this vein ordering pizza online is the most perfect thing ever (and the most awful thing to happen to self respect). From the confines of my own living room I can go to Roundtables website and order an All Meat Marvel. Click a button to add ground beef. Click another button to switch out regular sauce with barbecue sauce and then have it delivered to my door! I make some god damn Frankenstein monster pizza all without facing the shame of looking at another human to order it. If I could do everything this way I promise you my car would be painted black as the Batmobile and would probably have like 10 doors and no backseat, simply because the ability to do something means that I MUST do it.

FUCK YEAH PIZZA!

-Rich

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