UPDATE- This article is 100% false. April fools!
The FBI has announced a number of arrests in a recent series of van break-ins targeting punk rock bands. The suspects, who are now in federal custody, include all four members of Fat Wreck Chords band Masked Intruder, along with the band's sidekick/mascot/hypeman Officer Bradford. All five have been charged with multiple counts of grand theft, while Officer Bradford faces an additional charge of impersonating a law enforcement officer.
The band's attorney, Joshua S. Frank, Esquire, released a statement exclusively to Punknews.
My clients may be guilty of past crimes. A lot of them. In fact, most of them. But they are innocent of these particular charges. What motivation do they have to break into another band's van? They are on Fat Wreck Chords. That's the big time. If anything, other bands should be breaking into their van. I look forward to my clients being exonerated in a court of law. If the mask don't fit, you must acquit.