This is a warning. No, this is a call to arms. Because, this is what happens when big business invades something you believe in, something you live, waters it the fuck down, and forces it down your throat.

This is Story of the Year's new album entitled "Page Avenue."

By-the-book, paint-by-numbers, heavy melodic rock with screams in all the right places, sensitive acoustic bits for the ladies, fucking pained, heartfelt lyrics about absolutely nothing ("i'd scream this song right in your face if you were here...," awesome, dude.), topped of with ultra-cool spinning jump kicks, choreographed back flips, and guitar throws. Sick!

But there's hope. I see this release as the end of the line of the record industries' hard-on for hardcore. I'll use the "Trixter" analogy:

Guns N' Roses fucking ruled. Guns N' Roses' popularity led to Skid Row's eventual signing and B-list rock stardom. Skid Row's popularity led to Trixter: good looking young guys with marginal talent and the right hair at the tail end of the whole metal explosion. They smile pretty for the camera, and who won't put up a fight when the label and producer wants a more marketable sound or when they "don't hear a single."

Let's put our hands together for the Trixter of 2003...

Now, As for the musicianship, it's fine. They seem to be compitent players in the studio as well as on stage (saw their set at the Warped Tour this summer). And i'm sure the band was stoked to get to work with John Feldmann, the man responsible for The Used's first record. It's too bad John didn't touch a single fader because this record sounds like another Used record. Same bass-drops, same snare, same sound; although, Bert's screams actually sound kind of cool. Don't believe me? Check out "and the hero will drown," "in the shadows," and "razorblades."

And with that, i'll close with an eight word quote that says more than my entire review...

"Spoon fed hooks, pretty looks, but no fire." -Paint It Black