I don't know about you, but to me a SoCal pop-punk band with a vampire theme is still a SoCal pop-punk band. Four chords and a poppy chorus sort of negate the Transylvanian castle on the cover. And while I haven't really listened to a band of this particular sonic classification in quite some time, I figure I'll crack my knuckles, buckle down into my desk chair, and give it a shot.

On first listen, parenthesis Vlad and parenthesis the Impalers' songs seem shallow and one-dimensional. Similar stop-and-start ska-inspired riffs (whether on the upbeat or not) populate the first few songs until we hit track four, a full-out ska romp (titled "The Vampire" nonetheless) bringing me back to those days that I used to listen to Sublime. Oh wait, I never listened to Sublime. 'Cause Sublime always sucked.

The kickoff is track five, "Bolts, Screws, Nuts and Cigarette Butts." Party time rock'n'roll guitar riffs and a double time rockabilly beat give it a solid full speed ahead basis to rock your socks with a near-rhyme chorus. Man, that last sentence was way too long. But just when I thought the album might get better, these dudes fall back into their old habits of sounding like that crappy band that used to play the talent shows at my high school while wearing socks with their sandals. Power chords and "whuh-oa" vocals may tickle your fancy, but I'll have you know that my fancy is yet untickled by this album.

Now, I know a bunch of you chumps are totally going to dig this album and whine about how I suck because I don't think the Lawrence Arms are the cat's meow (or any small animal's meow for that matter), so I'm not going to trash the album completely. If you like this sort of thing, you'd probably love this band. They're good for what they are, and if you can still stand a third wave ska breakdown every couple tracks or so, maybe you'd get your kix with parenthesis Vlad and parenthesis the Impalers. But I've already done the Green Day thing back in the day, and the term SoCal makes me cringe.