What the fuck is this?

There, that's the review. Seriously.

I have no idea who this dude is, or why he recorded an album full of crappy nü-metal riffs with his shitty high school talent show vocals on top of wannabe emo verses.

The opening lyrics to this album are "Motörhead is kind of like you. Nobody really likes them but everyone says they do." Yo, dick. I like Motörhead. In fact, I listen to Motörhead about once a day. In comparison? I didn't listen to an entire one of these songs. When he wasn't ripping off a riff from the Smashing Pumpkins, he's trying to get ambient and instrumental on us. And when that doesn't work, he rips off a Motörhead riff for "Fabulous Fabulist."

This is why solo projects never work. The dude thinks "Oh hey, I can mix genres all over the place and it'll be inventive and cool! I'll be cool and just call it "rock music" and then everyone will like me." And to quote Keith Richards in that scathing NME interview, "The biggest cliché in rock'n'roll is... There's no roll. They forgot the roll and they only kept the rock. The roll's the whole damn thing dude, the rock is nothing, deal with it, the roll is king. Unfortunately most cats don't get behind the roll."

It only gets worse when he starts pulling out the Matchbox 20 riffs. Joe Satriani never wrote good songs. Eric Clapton doesn't write good songs. Are they good musicians? Yeah, they can rock a solo. Can this guy play his instruments? Yep. He can. Decently, too.

But being a good musician doesn't mean you should be allowed to write and record a solo album under a "project" name and think that you're cool. Plus, what the fuck's up with the Good Charlotte cover art?