The Falcon haiku extravaganza

The Falcon
by Red Scare Contests

In conjunction with our good friends at Red Scare and our on-again-off-again acquaintances in the Falcon we've whipped a contest for you, our loyal readers. What makes this so awesome, you might ask? Well, the awesomeness is that the grand prize winner will be walking away with the following:

  • Copies of both the debut EP as well as the recent LP Unicornography
  • A copy of The Last Unicorn anime
  • A free ticket to the upcoming Falcon performance (provided you can get yourself there)
  • A drunken phone call from Brendan Kelly*
  • Red scare temporary tattoos*
  • An 8x10 glossy of the Chairman, complete with lipstick imprint

Well, what do you have to do win all this? Write a haiku. Dead serious.

In planning this, we decided that not just any schmuck entering his name in a form could be the winner. Instead, we're looking for someone dedicated, deserving and…something else that starts with "d." So to that end, we'll be asking that each of you that wants to enter write a haiku. Yes, a haiku. As our friends at Wikipedia describe the modern American haiku:

  • Use of three (or fewer) lines of no more than 17 syllables in total
  • Use of metrical feet rather than syllables. A haiku then becomes three lines of 2, 3, and 2 metrical feet, with a pause after the second or fifth
  • Use of a caesura to implicitly contrast and compare two events or situations

Sound challenging? It better.
Sound awesome? Double true.

To help you kids out, the gentlefolk in the band all got together and wrote these three examples that you can use for inspiration:

unicorn droppings
lagubrious testicles
climb arching rainbows

darkened alleyway
two dollar blowjob special
it's herpes again

after whiskey shots
a mustached merchant marine
winks at a tranny

fucking a melon
heated in the microwave
beats just sitting there

So get rad! Read the rules below, then enter! Let's do this. Yo! Get into it!

The Prizes ONE, UNO, UN, SINGULARO winner will receive:

  • Copies of both the debut EP as well as the recent LP Unicornography
  • A copy of The Last Unicorn anime
  • A free ticket to the upcoming Falcon performance (provided you can get yourself there)
  • A drunken phone call from Brendan Kelly*
  • Red scare temporary tattoos*
  • An 8x10 glossy of the Chairman, complete with lipstick imprint

Rules

  1. Open to North America.
  2. To enter, please use the form below.
  3. If you don't want your email address added to the mailing lists, uncheck the mailing list option in the form below.
  4. Punknews.org will only contact you if you win.
  5. You also give us permission to use your first name and city when announcing the winners.
  6. If you're under 13, you have to have your parent's permission.
  7. All entries must be received by October 16th, 2006 at 12:00 A.M. EST.
  8. Please enter only once.
  9. Prizes with a * next to them may not actually be able to be provided. We'll do our best.

Contact Information

Your haiku:
Name:
Email Address:
Street Address:
City:
State / Province:Choose a State / Province Outside US / Canada Alabama Alaska Alberta American Samoa Arizona Arkansas Armed Forces Americas Armed Forces Europe Armed Forces Pacific British Columbia California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District Of Columbia Florida Georgia Guam Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Manitoba Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Brunswick New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York Newfoundland North Carolina North Dakota Northern Mariana Is Northwest Territories Nova Scotia Nunavut Ohio Oklahoma Ontario Oregon Palau Pennsylvania Prince Edward Island Province du Quebec Puerto Rico Rhode Island Saskatchewan South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virgin Islands Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming Yukon Territory
Postal / ZIP Code: