Big Hand Track-By-Track Breakdown

Lesson Learned

We wanted to start this record off with a sense of immediacy, a punch to throw the listener right in. I think this song does an incredible job of that. Instrumentally, it seemed to come off a bit more introspective and desperate than other songs on the record, almost a My Bloody Valentine or The Cure vibe at times. I wanted the lyrics to emotionally fit the desperation of the guitars and the urgency of the pacing. The song is about feeling like you are nearing your end, that both emotionally and spiritually there is nothing left in the tank. When you’re robbed of everything you have, all you’re left with is a lesson.

Sunshine

This song had a distinct feeling as we were writing it, a sense of brightness and warmth with this big chorus of gushing emotion. The song lyrically is about love, and how hard it is to see a loved one struggle with whatever it is that keeps them down. It’s hard to watch someone you care for hurt and know that you can’t take the pain for them. It’s important to build up the people you care about and let them know you are there to help cushion any blow life may throw their way.

Magic

When I was fifteen years old, I went to my first “real” hardcore show, and my life was never the same. I was a different person walking into that room than the person that walked out. Looking in awe at the chaos around me, bodies flying about, pure aggression in the air. During the Blacklisted set, I made my first attempt at a stage dive. Security grabbed me and began to drag me toward the back door, only for a large stranger to grab the guard grabbing me. In the confusion and retaliation toward the accosting, the security guard let me loose. The large stranger looked at me after their quick scuffle and laughed, assuring me, “You can do what you want, you’re one of us”. There was no turning back after that, I was fully immersed in the hardcore scene from then on.

Time passes, as it does. You keep going to shows, before you know it you’re playing in a band with friends. After a while, you start playing shows, fast forward a few years and you’re going on your first tour. Then your second. Your first album. Your first international tour. It all keeps snowballing and growing, and it never would have happened if you didn’t jump off that stage. And then one day, you yourself are on stage. You look out and see a fifteen-year-old kid, in awe, in the back of the mosh pit and you smile a little, wondering if he’s gonna stage dive. The cycle continues: it’s magic.

Half Asleep

This is a very catchy and upbeat vibe to this song and I wanted a hook that would match that. This song is about being too afraid to confront your fears that your life can’t reach its full potential. It’s hard to face the truth and make a change, but we often don’t realize how suffocating that burden is until we free ourselves of it.

Well Wisher

Big headbanger vibe to this one, I feel like everyone channeled a little Dave Grohl on each of their respective instruments. A metaphorical song, both literally and figuratively about being stuck in a hole. When you’re at the bottom of a depressive rut, it’s hard to tell the good from the bad. Make a wish, throw a coin in a dark well, and its worth is lost among the dirt and debris.

Pack Rat

This was the last song, lyrically, finished for the album. The song has such a sense of anxious urgency and it really put me out of my comfort zone creatively. I’m so happy it did because it ended up being one of my favorites on the album. In this world, you have the ability to give and to take. We aspire for a balance, but some tend to take more than they give. When you’re boxed in by all the things you’ve taken, there’s no room for anyone but yourself. Trapped and alone, with all your things.

Crawl Back

I believe this was the second song we wrote for the record, the first one after we had decided on buckling down for an LP. Immediately after hearing the catchiness of the chorus, I began to hum what is now the vocal melody. I remember Supertouch’s “Now That You're Far From Home” being an inspiration for the cadence of the words. Lyrically, it’s a song about feeling inadequate, like you’re living at a different pace or quality than everyone else. It’s hard to wake up day after day just to go to bed still feeling not enough, but optimism can truly go a long way in this world. The last portion of the song is a reminder (to the listener, my loved ones, and myself) that I’m happy to be where I am today, and I wouldn’t be without the obstacles along the way.

Grace

This was the first song we had written musically for the LP, written around the same time as our single “All”. Lyrically, it is probably the heaviest song on the album. It’s a song about having the courage to love something or someone with all your heart, knowing one day you will have to live through the pain of losing them. It’s about the fear that comes with knowing the end, but understanding that the time leading up to it is a blessing and will always be worth it.

Golden State

In contrast to the previous song, this is probably the most lighthearted track on the record. When I first heard the wah pedal lead into the chorus riff at practice, youthful memories of watching MTV spring break mosh pits came flooding back. I wanted to capture that same kind of fun energy lyrically that the song brings musically. Growing up in the Midwest, I’ve run into several people who treat their location as the source of all their problems. The notion that all your problems would disappear if you ran off to somewhere beautiful like California or Colorado seemed to be rampant among my age group. This song was meant to be a catchy, fun, sarcastic homage to that mentality.

Big Hand

The final track of the album, the title track of the album, and probably the most personal to me on the album. The first half of the song is about self-reflection, finding the underlying themes and struggles in my life that have persisted throughout. The second half is about finding a way to overcome those obstacles, or, at the very least, learn to live with them. As time progresses, all we can hope is to become better versions of ourselves.